Client: 'What I've realized is incredible... it was there at all time, I could have seen it myself, but I was just too stuck and clouded to move forward and find a solution. I feel much better as something 'clicked' in me.. thanks so much Alessandra!'
Note: please read 'Guilt & Regret - Part 1' if you've missed it! A summery of a client interesting hypnosis session is featured there. Today, in Part 2 you'll learn a good 'mind trick' that I wish will beneficial on your journey!
I put together what I hope to be a simple-to-understand- yet to the point mini-guide which helped my client moving to a place of self realization.
I hope it will be useful for you as well. Enjoy!
REGRET and GUILT: how do we feel better?
Pay close attention to the wording of the following definition. It's all in there!
REGRET is a bad feeling
My client made the choice (didn't choose to create the opportunity) to attend the birth of her niece. She has all the right to feel REGRET about it: as for her judgment, she made a BAD DECISION and she wishes she could have scheduled her time and tasks more efficiently. That wasn't it all though: self judgment, lack of knowledge, and few other subconscious triggers kicked in, and after just few minutes she started to FEEL BAD ABOUT HERSELF: Welcome GUILT.
Let's see more in details how the emotions of regret and guilt work, and why while one leads toward a positive outcome, the other may lead you to a donword spiral.
REGRET & GUILT: similarities and differences.
Emotions are in fact, neither good nor bad! Emotions are the natural way your body let you know where you are at. Listening to them and recognize in which part of your body you feel them (head, neck area, heart, stomach,..) is key to a profound and clear understanding of your self, your needs, wants and desires. Whenever you experience these emotions, you are called inward to listen to your guidance giving you informations about the state of your thoughts: either 'in alignment' both with your set of 'internal values' or/and with our higher self/soul, or not.
2. Guilt is directly connected to regret/Guild doesn't exist without regret:
Guilt is a feeling triggered by the initial sense of regret. First 'we know' we did something (seemingly) 'wrong', and later we feel bad about ourselves!
Why is it important to know thIS?
Because as you practice self-awareness, you may will be able to define the feeling of regret in your mind and body, and start to give in less and less to the feeling of guilt, thus embracing more and more self-love and self-compassion.
Now that you know that main difference between guilt and regret, you have a choice: remind yourself that there's nothing wrong with you, just because you think you did something seemingly wrong! Remember that, even though you are able to 'see the Light' now, the 'regert-guilt' mind game has been there for a long time! Please take as much time as you may need to incorporate the truth of this statement in the new vision of yourself, and just add a tiny bit of effort every time to play with your awareness skills!
**In case you'd like to dive into your subconscious mind to deeply see, feel and perceive the root causes of your feeling of guilt and other state of being which are usually linked to it, and you'd like to 'move through them' faster and with efficient guindace, please call me at 310-709-6464 or e-mail me at Alessandraplh@gmail.com with any question or to set up an appointment. Make your time and wellbeing a priority today!**
We'll see now in details how this process helps us immensly.
As we've understood now, even though all feelings have their important functions, some maye still lead to a sense of positivity, while the other may make us feel 'stuck and clouded' just like my client described during her session. Nonetheless both GUILT and REGRET carry as well their own *emotional imprint (see following note)
*Every word we pronounce carries a feeling with it. It's said that even just by reading a word, we project ideas, attitudes and beliefs.
For example, trying reading these words first: 'hate', 'anger', 'ugly', 'rotter', 'disaster', 'war.'
Now read these ones instead: 'happy', 'gentle', 'peace', 'fun', 'creation', 'love.'
How did you feel? Would you like to read and hear yourself and other prounounce positive and encouraging words, or disempowering and negative ones? This choice will be crucial in determining your well being.
REGRET is the unhappy feeling over something:
GUILT is the unhappy feeling of the self for the same reasons as for with regret (we judge ourself bad for those reasons) plus we may feel guilty for:
What to do now?
Many many things can be done to start moving to a greater state of wellness!
First thing first, know that guilt is an invitation to call in more love.
Ergo, we must move toward self love:
- write down a list of moments, acts you took, thoughts that you had through your days.. which you feel like they are a source of positive, loving energy to you (did you smile at someone and someone smiled you back? Were you grateful to take a warm bath and lie down on a comfortable bad after a long day at work? Are you practicing gratitude? Did you take your time,..?) I'm currently using a sweet book titled, 'Power thoughts - 365 Daily Affirmations' by L.Hay. Each day I ask fr guidance and open randomly a page, then I read out loud the positive affirmations collected in this mini book. Here are some examples:
- look back and see how far you've come! Goals you accomplished, little tasks you completed (you can even through doing laundry in there!), promises you kept, and any kind of little or big improvement.. I'm sure you will find some good and great things about yourself!
- action! If you want to feel better and grow, you may want to throw your old box which have been defining your (inexistant) limits away, and expand your imagination by turning ideas and emotions into tangible matter, and sharing our positive intentions to the world. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT: make a great friend with time by taking the chance you still have to make a sincere apology to your dear one; share a present with someone to show gratitude (even if it's for a belated event), go talk to that man/woman.. invite them for a walk; come back home from work an hour earlier to surprise your family,.. Wear that dress you always wanted to wear NOW!
I'm making very easy examples, and perhaps some of us may go through much harder times dealing with regret and guilt. But the rules applies no matter the circumstance, don't you think so?
Bottom line is..
*DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST, BUT CULTIVATE YOUR PRESENT AND YOUR WELL-BEING BY TURNING TO SELF-COMPASSION AND TAKING WHAT YOU'VE EXPERIENCED TO BETTER YOUR YOUR FUTURE!*
Was this article of any help to you?
I wholeheartedly wish so!
In case, please comment, ask any questions, and share share share!
Alessandra Sun, CHt
Here enjoying the sunsent at Santa Monica beach - CA, after a restorative walk.
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Follow me at @pure_light_hypnosis (https://www.instagram.com/pure_light_hypnosis/)
where I share a bit of my daily body movement practice together with my favorite quotes.. and a bit of silliness!