Client: 'What I've realized is incredible... it was there at all time, I could have seen it myself, but I was just too stuck and clouded to move forward and find a solution. I feel much better as something 'clicked' in me.. thanks so much Alessandra!'
Note: please read 'Guilt & Regret - Part 1' if you've missed it! A summery of a client interesting hypnosis session is featured there. Today, in Part 2 you'll learn a good 'mind trick' that I wish will beneficial on your journey!
I put together what I hope to be a simple-to-understand- yet to the point mini-guide which helped my client moving to a place of self realization.
I hope it will be useful for you as well. Enjoy!
REGRET and GUILT: how do we feel better?
Pay close attention to the wording of the following definition. It's all in there!
REGRET is a bad feeling
My client made the choice (didn't choose to create the opportunity) to attend the birth of her niece. She has all the right to feel REGRET about it: as for her judgment, she made a BAD DECISION and she wishes she could have scheduled her time and tasks more efficiently. That wasn't it all though: self judgment, lack of knowledge, and few other subconscious triggers kicked in, and after just few minutes she started to FEEL BAD ABOUT HERSELF: Welcome GUILT.
Let's see more in details how the emotions of regret and guilt work, and why while one leads toward a positive outcome, the other may lead you to a donword spiral.
REGRET & GUILT: similarities and differences.
Emotions are in fact, neither good nor bad! Emotions are the natural way your body let you know where you are at. Listening to them and recognize in which part of your body you feel them (head, neck area, heart, stomach,..) is key to a profound and clear understanding of your self, your needs, wants and desires. Whenever you experience these emotions, you are called inward to listen to your guidance giving you informations about the state of your thoughts: either 'in alignment' both with your set of 'internal values' or/and with our higher self/soul, or not.
2. Guilt is directly connected to regret/Guild doesn't exist without regret:
Guilt is a feeling triggered by the initial sense of regret. First 'we know' we did something (seemingly) 'wrong', and later we feel bad about ourselves!
Why is it important to know thIS?
Because as you practice self-awareness, you may will be able to define the feeling of regret in your mind and body, and start to give in less and less to the feeling of guilt, thus embracing more and more self-love and self-compassion.
Now that you know that main difference between guilt and regret, you have a choice: remind yourself that there's nothing wrong with you, just because you think you did something seemingly wrong! Remember that, even though you are able to 'see the Light' now, the 'regert-guilt' mind game has been there for a long time! Please take as much time as you may need to incorporate the truth of this statement in the new vision of yourself, and just add a tiny bit of effort every time to play with your awareness skills!
**In case you'd like to dive into your subconscious mind to deeply see, feel and perceive the root causes of your feeling of guilt and other state of being which are usually linked to it, and you'd like to 'move through them' faster and with efficient guindace, please call me at 310-709-6464 or e-mail me at Alessandraplh@gmail.com with any question or to set up an appointment. Make your time and wellbeing a priority today!**
We'll see now in details how this process helps us immensly.
As we've understood now, even though all feelings have their important functions, some maye still lead to a sense of positivity, while the other may make us feel 'stuck and clouded' just like my client described during her session. Nonetheless both GUILT and REGRET carry as well their own *emotional imprint (see following note)
*Every word we pronounce carries a feeling with it. It's said that even just by reading a word, we project ideas, attitudes and beliefs.
For example, trying reading these words first: 'hate', 'anger', 'ugly', 'rotter', 'disaster', 'war.'
Now read these ones instead: 'happy', 'gentle', 'peace', 'fun', 'creation', 'love.'
How did you feel? Would you like to read and hear yourself and other prounounce positive and encouraging words, or disempowering and negative ones? This choice will be crucial in determining your well being.
REGRET is the unhappy feeling over something:
GUILT is the unhappy feeling of the self for the same reasons as for with regret (we judge ourself bad for those reasons) plus we may feel guilty for:
What to do now?
Many many things can be done to start moving to a greater state of wellness!
First thing first, know that guilt is an invitation to call in more love.
Ergo, we must move toward self love:
- write down a list of moments, acts you took, thoughts that you had through your days.. which you feel like they are a source of positive, loving energy to you (did you smile at someone and someone smiled you back? Were you grateful to take a warm bath and lie down on a comfortable bad after a long day at work? Are you practicing gratitude? Did you take your time,..?) I'm currently using a sweet book titled, 'Power thoughts - 365 Daily Affirmations' by L.Hay. Each day I ask fr guidance and open randomly a page, then I read out loud the positive affirmations collected in this mini book. Here are some examples:
- look back and see how far you've come! Goals you accomplished, little tasks you completed (you can even through doing laundry in there!), promises you kept, and any kind of little or big improvement.. I'm sure you will find some good and great things about yourself!
- action! If you want to feel better and grow, you may want to throw your old box which have been defining your (inexistant) limits away, and expand your imagination by turning ideas and emotions into tangible matter, and sharing our positive intentions to the world. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT: make a great friend with time by taking the chance you still have to make a sincere apology to your dear one; share a present with someone to show gratitude (even if it's for a belated event), go talk to that man/woman.. invite them for a walk; come back home from work an hour earlier to surprise your family,.. Wear that dress you always wanted to wear NOW!
I'm making very easy examples, and perhaps some of us may go through much harder times dealing with regret and guilt. But the rules applies no matter the circumstance, don't you think so?
Bottom line is..
*DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST, BUT CULTIVATE YOUR PRESENT AND YOUR WELL-BEING BY TURNING TO SELF-COMPASSION AND TAKING WHAT YOU'VE EXPERIENCED TO BETTER YOUR YOUR FUTURE!*
Was this article of any help to you?
I wholeheartedly wish so!
In case, please comment, ask any questions, and share share share!
Alessandra Sun, CHt
Here enjoying the sunsent at Santa Monica beach - CA, after a restorative walk.
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where I share a bit of my daily body movement practice together with my favorite quotes.. and a bit of silliness!
'We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.' (Carlos Castenada)
Client: 'Ive been living far apart from my family of origin for a few years now, and as life goes on and things happen, I'm feeling a great amount of guilt for having had missed, among others, many of my sisters important moments. My older sister delivered her first child few months ago, and I haven't even see him yet. To tell you the truth we don't even talk that much given the difference of time between the two Countries we live in.. I like it here where I live, but I wish we would be closer so that I would be able to stay next to her family. I feel a heaviness in my heart. I feel stuck.. Why do I have to suffer by choosing to follow my career at the cost of loosing connection with my family?'
A client came to visit me as she felt like she couldn't get past her emotion of guilt and self judjment. She has a very demanding job which keeps her very busy, but that she enjoys nonetheless. She is not planning to move back to her Country of origin anytime soon, but she does desire both to feel a deeper sense of connection to her family of origin and feel lighter and free in her heart and mind by fully accepting her choices, or finding a new solution (which thoughts shows her good level of awareness and accountability to start with.) I listented to her carefully while she was expressing herself:
'Time is passing by so fast and I'm missing out on a lot of things.. what if my dad dies unexpectedly? Or even me! I feel like I'm putting my job before my family.. sometimes I think 'I haven't been a good daughter to my parents' for having left them alone. Maybe if I'd leave all and move back, everything will be good again.. but when I think this I feel like I'd feel a sense of guilt about myself too, for stopping to follow my work. That would kill me.'
During the initial 'consultation' where the client explains me her issues, fears or discomfort she would like to solve, I'm able to quickly observe the beliefs system she adopted, which are naturally determining her present state of mind and feelings.
(In this case I also had a very acute understanding and empathy toward my client as, at some degrees, I've been in her shoes more then ones, and so are many of the people I know which left their home of origin and moved to a new city... This as a reminder that we are never 'the only ones', or 'alone', right?)
I guide the client into a deep and calming state of relaxation, where she's able to quiet her mind and move to a higher state of awareness. The subconscious mind is now of easier access as well as her heart center (she releases some physical tension or what I may call, 'mental toxins' by crying.. which by the way is one of our body's healthiest forms of 'self-care') and I'm able to guide her to the root causes of those beliefs which aren't being overall beneficial to her current well-being. I use a couple of techniques, one of which is called 'role playing': the client moves from her conscious perspective to someone else's while under hypnosis (this process may be done even when not under hypnosis indeed. Here your mind may get more 'in the way' and sabotage the process though) in this cases we moved into all of her 4 family memebers' perspective and started 'playing' with it!
As she moves into her older sister's body and perspective (which she now perceives/imagines/tunes into) she says: 'I don't blame you for haven't been close to me at the hospital when I had M. (The newborn) I would have loved to have you there, and I also love that you trusted that the decision you took for yourself at that time were the best. I know your boss wants you to follow him everywhere and that's just part of the job you love! He's a creative person and trusts in your potential as well. You both are blessed to have each others. I feel content when you keep on doing things that make you feel great. Please don't feel like you have to give up your own happiness just to make me happy! I'm choosing to live in the city we grew up as much as you chose to leave this city simply because I enjoy being here. I could have chosen to follow you and move with you when you asked me many years ago, but I didn't. I love you sister, I'm sure there will be a time to meet in the future and you'll be able to spend time with M., and if this will never happen for any reasons at all.. Cause I know you are thinking about this possibility as well.. that would be also ok. You are always in my heart and a part of my soul.. even if it seems like we don't talk much or see each others enough, you are always connected to me and to all our family. I love you exactly for who you are and I approve of all that you are doing exactly how you are doing. Not an inch less!'
Guiding my client to move from her perception, to each of her family members' one, allowed her to tune into a greater, 'guilt-free', loving state of being (she was talking from her sister's soul point of view) which shows us a clear example of how using either a 'judgmental' point of you (aka 'false self' - our thoughts and views become clouded as a consequnce of analizing events from the part of our egoic mind which isn't beneficial to our well-being and others) or a 'loving' one (aka true-self - perceiving events from our soul/higher self/consciousness) may make a SUBSTANCIAL difference in our lives!
Don't you think so?
As my clients was able to experience many perspectives and come to different realizations, I guided her toward the end of her guided imagery, and started incorporating 'positive suggestions.'
The use of positive suggestions works very well during an hypnotherapy session as the client is still in a state of deep relaxation. In this case once again, the subconscious mind is very receptive to any information and it's a great time to replace the 'not beneficial beliefs' with new - beneficial ones. It's also a very good time for the client to listen to these positive words as she already embraced the purpose of having those feelings of guilt, self-judgment, and self-punishment during our session, thus dropping any possible resistance to them. As I'll explain further those 'bad feelings' aren't completely 'bad' in themselves.. Did you know that every single range of emotions we experience, is there to guide us?!
Many were the beliefs and the emotions that we addressed during the session. In this particular blog I will write about GUILT and REGRET, and how being able to differenciate between the two, will help us improving the way we feel as it improved my client's!
I'll Meet you soon at part 2 of my 'Guilt & Regret' blog.
Hope you'll find some guidance while reading this story.
Any question or thoughts to share?
The comments section of this article is right on the bottom!
Reach out whenever you want also by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone at 310-709-6464.
Ps. Guilt is a very broad emotion, which touches many area of our lives.
We may feel guilty for many reasons (about what we eat, what we think, what we wish, something we've done, family expectations, religious education..) and thus is very common for many, if not all of us to experience it. Same with regrets.
The good news is.. There's a soul..ution (thumb up for the new a way through, a transmutation, a mean of serving our highest good.. Stay tuned to discover it soon.
Thanks so much for connecting with me and the informations on this website.
Wishing to be of greater service to you,
I hope to meet you soon!
"I'm an Asian young woman wearing a black kimono with some red and white colors, and I'm holding one of those typical fan.. it seems like I'm dressed up for a performance, here at the village where I live. I'm not that excited.. I feel like I'm in a neutral state. Perhaps I'm dreaming to be somewhere else.'
Today's session was a past life regression with a first time client. Usually, after the initial consultation I suggest the client to choose an intention or a theme (experiencing some past romantic relationship, re-living a time where the person felt in tune with their higher self and their life purpose, diving into the root of low self confidence and releasing any particular fear, revisiting any hystorical event,..) so that she/he will be guided to experience lifetimes that will reveal her/him lessons that are usuful to the particular challengse that she/he is interested in.
Today the theme was, 'Random!' The client decided to leave to her 'spiritual guides' or 'higher self' the choice of the theme.
After guiding her to a state of relaxed and focused concentration, the client moved 'beyond the Light' and started to see herself as a young Asian girl on her 20s, growing up in a small rural village where she felt 'safe', but 'not very excited'. Sacrificing her dream to move to the big city (Tokyo), where she would have had the chance of expressing her full potential as a dance performer - both for the love of her family of origin, and her wish of not disappointing them and be looked down on by the community - the young girl decided to remain in the village. 'I'd be ok to try something new, but that's not the culture, I'm just doing what's expected. In the back of my mind I think what it would be to reach out.. but this is not even a possibility. You just don't do that.'
After guiding the client to the next important event of that life, she accesses an older version of herself as the same Asian woman. She has probably 3 kids now, a daughter for sure, which is on her teen. The pattern repeats as her daughter grows up performing dance as well, 'She's even better then me!', but feels very hesitant when encouraged by the mother (the client) to follow her dreams. 'The villagers would think my daughter would be crazy and too wild to leave.. and what if she would be back from the big city after she had left? They would look down on her, and wouldn't want her to perform again with the villagers as they would think she thought she was too good to leave them behind. But I don't want all this to affect her. I'm very vocal with her about it, and even the villagers know what I think and it bothers me a bit, but that's ok.'
I guide the client to the last important event of that life. She's able to see herself on her death bed, surrounded by her family. 'She did go!' I'm on my death bed and I can see my daughter, she's in her mid 30s now. She left to the big city about 20 years ago, and even though we stayed in contact writing each others letters, this is the first time I get to see her. I'm so proud of her! I'm glad she was selfish. She decided not to have kids 'cause she was so involved with her career. She does have a partner. She's very successful!' I feel good knowing I'm about to die. My husband is here and he such a positive person. He's been like a cheerleader to me for all his life. Such a good soul. I feel like I was the pessimist one of the two of us. We respected each other very much, and the fact that he was ok to have our daughter leave the house to follow her dreams, made me feel better. It was better even in respect of our community. I'm excited to see what happens after I die.'
The client exits her physical body and is able to experience herself floating in a space looking like the 'sea of sparkles' one may see on the ocean at sunset. As a soul she feels great: 'I get to do this again!' (referring to the experience of floating and going toward the Light/Home.) She lets me know that she's ready to be guided Home toward the Light. She enters the Light (the place where the souls are and where we come originally from, aka heaven or Source and so on) where she's able to connect with other souls and asks them the purpose for her to see that life, and the possible connection of that life with her current one, which is one of the purposes of a past life regression therapy session.
She goes through the lessons learned, the similarities of her life as an Asian woman and her current life - which similarities she was able to perceive very clearly both at a conscious and emotional level. She realized a few pattern have been repeating in her current life: she's planting a new 'seed of expansion' in her daughter by teaching her to make decisions that do not have to necessarily follow the 'family tradition' and that she's free to not have kids if she doesn't want to, and so on. She also realizes she's been holding back on expressing her full potential and that she is free to do so whenever she wants to.. 'In my life as the Asian woman I felt a lot of pressure from the community, but in my current life I'm much more supported and free, so this time is basically just me holding myself back!'
The client also had time to ask those 'souls-friends' she met while in the Light, another question. She choses to navigate the feelings of intollerance and judgment she's currently experiencing about 'all those racist people currently involved with political matters.. I'm very tollerant usually, but I can't take these kind of people right now!' ..'Why am I feeling this resentment toward them?' ...and so we navigated those seas as well.. but this is another story!
I hope you enjoyed this first blog about a Past Life Regression which may show how easy, safe and interesting this process really is. What do you think?
Would you like to read more stories?
Let me know.
For more infos about scheduling a Past Life Regression, please call 310-709-6464!
Note: All the clients' Past Life Regressions sessions and Hypnotherapy sessions shared on this blog will be always protected by anonymousness. No names or personal information about the clients will be shared, unless under their written permission.
Alessandra Yanes, CHt